Khubayb : What's that mean?

Someone asked me what my name Khubayb, meant. Khubayb literally means ' He who runs fast' or a 'fast walker', although I prefer Swift Walker. Sounds cooler. Right?

Anyway, very recently, I attempted to narrate the story of the famous companion of the Prophet, Khubayb Al Adiy Malik Al-Awsi Al-Ansari that was told to me eons ago, and I guess my story fell pretty flat. So I looked it up again for a refresher. And this is what I found:

His full name was Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA. His story is well known and recorded in any books of Seerah and biographies.

Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA was from the blessed 313 who took part in the battle of Badr. When the standards of the Battle of Badr were lifted, he was there, a bold warrior and a daring fighter. Among the polytheists whom he killed with his sword during the battle was Al-Harith Ibn 'Amir Ibn Naufal.

After the battle was over and the defeated remnants of the Quraish had returned to Makkah, the sons of Al-Harith learned that their father had been killed. They learned the name of his killer very well by heart: Khubaib Ibn 'Adiy.

The Muslims returned from Badr to Al-Madinah and persistently built their new community. Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA was a true worshiper, a pious devotee, carrying the nature of a devotee and the longing aspiration of a worshiper. There he turned to worship with the spirit of a passionate lover, praying at night, fasting during the day, glorifying Allah, Lord of the Worlds.

One day the Rasulullah SAW wanted to know the Quraish's secrets so as to be fully aware of the target of their movements and any preparations for a new battle. Therefore, he chose ten of his Companions, among who was Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA, and 'Asim Ibn Thabit RA as leader.

The expedition set off towards its destination until they reached a place between 'Asafahan and Makkah. News of them reached an area of Hudhail called Bani Hayan. They hastened to them with 100 of their most skillful spearmen. They set out to pursue them and to follow their tracks.

They almost lost them but for the fact that one of them found some discarded date pits on the sand. He picked them up and, with the amazing skill Arabs were famous for, glanced at them, then shouted loudly so that the others could hear him, "They are date pits from Yathrib"'. Let's follow them and they will surely guide us." They followed the discarded date pits until they could see in the distance what they were searching for.

'Asim RA, the expedition's leader, felt that they were being chased, so he ordered his companions to mount the high peak of a mountain. The 100 spearmen approached and surrounded the foot of the mountain and besieged them thoroughly.

They asked them to surrender themselves after giving them their word not to hurt them. The ten turned to their leader, 'Asim Ibn Thabit Al-Ansari RA and waited for his command. He then said, "As for me, by Allah, I will never let myself fall into the protection of a polytheist. May Allah inform our Rasulullah SAW about us."

The spearmen then began to throw their spears at them. Their leader 'Asim RA was wounded and died as a martyr. In the same way seven others were wounded and died as martyrs.

The rest were then called and promised that they would be safe if they came down. The three descended, Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA and his two friends. The spearmen approached Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA and his companion, Zaid Ibn Ad-Dithinnah RA, and tied them up. Their third one recognized the beginning of their deceits, so he decided to die there where 'Asim RA and his companions had fallen. He died where he wished.

That is how some of the greatest, most faithful, most loyal to Allah and his Rasulullah and most sincere believers passed away. Zaid Ibn Ad-Dithinnah RA tried to untie himself, but they were tied very thoroughly and tightly.

From his known victims at the battle was the mushrik Harith Ibn 'Amir ibn Naufal; whose children vowed to avenge their father's death, and they finally got the chance.

Bani Hayan proved to be deceptive and took them to Makkah and sold them as slaves. From his known victims at the battle was the mushrik Harith Ibn 'Amir ibn Naufal; whose children vowed to avenge their father's death, and they finally got the chance.

The sons of Harith ibn 'Amir heard of his capture and competed to buy him. They finally bought him and imprisoned him, preparing to finally avenge their father's death. During Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA his imprisonment, some miracles were witnessed by Harith's children. For example, Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA eating from a bunch of grapes in his hand when there were no grapes in Makkah.

Another time, Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA borrowed a knife from one of Harith's daughter; later her young child walked towards Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA until he was standing next to him, his mother was distressed to see her son so close to Khubayb who had a knife in his hand. Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA reassured her that he would not hurt the child. She later used to remark, "By Allah, I have never seen a prisoner better than Khubayb. By Allah, I too saw him eat from grapes in his hand, when he was in shackles. It was not the season for grapes Makkah. It was a provision from Allah".

In his final days, the sons of Harith tried to make Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA renounces his faith in return for sparing his life. But Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA stood firm like a mountain and threw the light of his faith back at them... 

On the day of execution of this noble Sahabi, the children of al-Harith took him out of the area of the Haram in Makkah as they wanted to kill him outside the Haram. Some Islamic scholars agreed that Khubayb al Ansari RA was finally crucified on the same spot of Tanaim Mosque in Makkah.

Before the execution, Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA requested that he be given a few minutes to perform two rakaah of salah, which they agreed to. After the salah, Khubayb said, "If you did not think I was afraid of facing death, I would have increased by salah (and then he made the du'a), "Oh Allah, count their numbers, wipe them out one by one, do not let any of them live."

He recited the following words of profound poetry, which reflected his strength and determination till the end:

"I have no concern as I'm (being) killed as a Muslim,

In the way of Allah will be my fatality

And in that should He Will

Grant blessings upon my lacerated limbs."

'Uqbah ibn al-Harith struck him and those gathered around asked him, "O Khubayb, would you rather be with your family, safe and Muhammad be here in your place?", Khubayb replied with the famous words, "Never, rather I would not even want to see Muhammad Rasulullah be pricked by a thorn!" At this, Abu Sufyan remarked, "I have not seen anyone love anyone more than the Companions of Muhammad love him". So one of the mushrik lashed at Khubayb until he died, and thus did Khubayb bin Adi al-Ansari RA meet an honorable end, martyred in the way of Allah SWT. 

Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA was the first person to exemplify performing salah before being executed. It is recorded that he was the first to be crucified too.

When they were lifting Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA onto the palm trunk cross and tying him firmly, Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA turned his face towards the sky asking his Ever Magnificent Allah, "Allah! We fulfilled the mission of Your Messenger. Inform him in the early morning of what is happening to us." In another narration, there is the addition: "O Allah I do not have anyone to convey my Salaam to, except Your Messenger, so convey my Salaam to him". Therefore the Angel Jibreel, may Allah exalt his mention, conveyed the news of Khubayb, may Allah be pleased with him to the Prophet . 

Allah responded to his prayer. While he was in Al-Madinah, Rasulullah SAW was filled with a strong feeling that his Companions were facing a severe trial, and he could almost see the crucified dead body of one of them.

Immediately Rasulullah SAW sent for Al-Miqdaad Ibn "Amr and Az-Zubair Ibn Awwam RA. They mounted their horses and set off to cross the land rapidly. Allah guided them to their desired destination. They lowered Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA’ body to a pure spot of ground waiting to shelter him under its moist soil.

As Narrated / Related  by Hassan Ibn Thabit RA

Hassan Ibn Thabit RA a poet of Islam, said about Khubayb ibn 'Adi ibn Malik al-Awsi al-Ansari RA: “He looked like a falcon among the Ansar. Allah SWT endowed him with noble character and good morals.”

Pretty neat, eh?

Pride and the Profession... [part 3]

Wow. It's been three years since my last post? Really? That's way too long. What happened? Why was I quiet for three years? Hm... Oh, I think I know. My kids happened. LOL. Geez. Anyway. I found this little puff piece in the saved folders. This was meant to be part three of the posts I was writing on but I wonder why I didn't post it. I sort of already lost all momentum on this following my first two parts:

Part 1: Finding your Balance...

Part 2: Sacrificing Sacrifice...

But I'm just going to post this anyway. I don't know what I was rambling about, but let's get this over and done with and then move on.. So, PART THREE: PRIDE AND THE PROFESSION, below:


You must take every pride in what you do and you must enjoy every hazards and rewards of the legal profession. You must have an overriding reason that motivates and fuels you, beyond the riches of material wealth, because when it's tiring and no longer fun, it'll still drive you on when you'd rather just quit. Because you'll find that the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is exactly what you wanted, but not what you thought it was. And you'll never get back the irretrievable loss of time. No money will ever justify all those long hours reading that 60 page law report that you painstakingly discover isn't in anyway related to your case.

This much, I'm pretty sure is true for any profession.

So yes, you look at the lawyer standing next to you in Court with a better suit, better car, better hair (except that I like my hair and no one has it better), and while the obvious instinct for pretty much anyone is to guiltily battle between enjoying/resisting thinking that "if this tool can make it, there's no reason why I can't", it's always best to re-calibrate your thoughts and have a proper perspective. Show a little respect and appreciate that everyone has sacrificed something to reach where they are, some even their morality, honour or dignity.  Comparisons are the thief of joy, and you're exactly where you're meant to be. There's little benefit in comparing yourself to other people. Especially in this age of social media. People envy the lifestyles of others. They coveteth thy neighbour's things and holidays... and.. I'll write about this on some other topic because I'm getting off-track.

So yes, find your work-life balance. But only after you establish your foundation and your basic legal knowledge first.Having that foundation and legal basic knowledge takes a lot of hard work. Hours and hours and hours and hours in the library, reading and absorbing and utilizing knowledge that is already there. The best lawyers do not get wahyu's sent to them. They formulate arguments by refreshing and expanding and perfecting and incorporating and assimilating 140,034,930,492,000 different arguments that have been argued and exhausted prior. That is why precedents are important. It's there. You just have to read them. There are no genius lawyers. Only hard-working ones.

Because without that hard work and foundation, you will not know what it means to become a lawyer and you wouldn't survive without having a solid and strong foundation of the law. The thrill of finding that obscure legal principle from an 1893 case. Or formulating an argument that is accepted by the Court and suddenly changes the law of the land. No one is going to applaud you or pat your back. So if that's what you're looking for, you're better off doing something else. But if even thinking about these achievements make you smile a little inside, then that is the professional pride that you ought to have.

It's easy to tell the people who take pride in what they do from those that don't, apart from observing their work. That's quite easy because when you observe those at work, it's easy to distinguish and spot those who are committed, that ensure that their work aren't shoddy or haphazard, that portray an almost OCD-like perfectionist streak in their work but not anything else. But you don't always get to observe someone doing their work. So IMO the alternative is to just ask someone about what they do, and see them either beam and offer litany of compliments and excitement about their profession or throw a train-track of complaints about everything - (I hate my boss, the hours, the coffee-lady, blablabla).

I guess, moral is take pride in whatever you do, and show it. It's no wonder the law regards a person's employment as an essential defining feature and characteristic of a person (almost as much as your race, religion and gender defines you) and takes great lengths to protect that. You are more than what you do, definitely, but what you do is undeniably a huge part of who you are. And it doesn't matter what you do. The kuey teow seller who has perfected his craft, doesn't skimp on any ingredients and puts all his focus and effort to ensure consistency in every plate; To the lecturers and teachers presenting papers and molding the next generation of society; to the bus and taxi drivers providing an essential service to those who depend on them; we all have a place in society and we all have a job we need to take pride in and that requires us to do it to the best of our ability.

So do it well.

Plough Through

Practicing law is, people will tell you, almost always a thankless task. You'll always get the standard "thanks for helping me release some millions that's been illegally withheld" type of client, who magically disappear without paying their fees. Or the "I don't care if I'm wrong, its your fault if I lose" types. Yeah, it's my fault the Court decides you're guilty of something you actually did do. 

A lot of lawyers complain incessantly about the nature of the profession. Yep, I agree it's hard and it's never easy. But if you take pride in what you do, even the smallest things can give you a quiet sense of validation and satisfaction. It's all well and fine to have a bit of a moan sometimes, but you need to look past the hurt and pain and focus on your goal and purpose. Moaning too much and rolling around in it all day doesn't serve any purpose. I practice law to help people as best as I can, and regardless of these thankless little shits, I tend to remind myself that you don't really need people's gratitude if they choose not to give it to you. Virtue is its own reward. Steel your will and force yourself to plough through the things that will drag you down.

Anyways, I'm not here to moan. I'm here to talk about job satisfaction. This week, I received a surprising little pick-me-up. A partner of one of the biggest law firms in Malaysia called me up to discuss one of my reported cases. We had an intellectual and academic discussion since she is coming up against a similar situation where the opponent is quoting my case as an authority in support. Basically she wanted to know how to defeat my own argument. Imagine that. 

To defeat the monster, talk to its creator to find out about its weaknesses or something. We had a quick chat, I gave her some hints (but I don't give handouts on a silver platter, no matter who you are), and at the end of the call, she told me that I did a good job on that case. 

I somehow found it to be quite a fulfilling professional accomplishment to be acknowledged and given a pat on the back from someone other than myself. Hopefully if I lose the will to practice, I can re-read this post and look back on what I've done and accomplished so far, reported or no, and be reminded that I have actually made a difference, no matter how small or unnoticed.

Well done, me. I love my job.

Sacrificing Sacrifice [part 2]

This is a continuation of my previous rant post: Finding Your Balance

Wow, what a nail-biting cliffhanger in the last post, right? No? whatever. 

Okay. Consider this: Why do babies learn faster than adults? Well, I'm not going to spout out science journals or the scientific reasons for it, but for babies, it's a whole new world out there. They are discovering things for the first time. Everything is new and shiny and pointy and adventurous. And the world doesn't switch off so the baby is constantly sponging in the experience and constantly learning except when he/she's asleep and retaining those experiences. The baby doesn't stop learning just because it's tiring and it's no longer fun. When you get into the real world, you're babies. Forget what you learned in law school, it doesn't prepare you for the big bad. It doesn't. But you 'll have a conscious choice to choose to stop learning. And if you do, you're stunting your own progress.

And if you choose work-life balance when you have not sacrificed at the altar of the law, then you're in no position to demand your due. Forget about good pay, forget about peer recognition. That is the sacrifice that you have to make. To be fair though, it's not so bad of a trade off.

Because all the sacrifice is worth nothing if at the end of the day, it isn't what you signed up for. So ask yourself, why have I picked up this profession? Why? Actually that's a stupid question. No one can really answer why. And even if they do answer, it's unlikely to resonate with you because people have different reasons for staying on.

But to me, it's your attitude that determines your longevity in any career. Those that persevere, will reap the better and just rewards, and at the same time those that tap out will also gain what they want. Is one better than the other? It depends on the person and what he wants. It's not for anyone else to say that the choices were wrong/right.

To be continued...

I used to have a...

blog, which I used to update fairly regularly back in the day (2010). Then life happened and I got busy, and then I forgot the password to my blog. Which is why I have this new one. So recently I looked up my blog, and surprisingly it's still there.

I have no way of retrieving the blog (or I just can't really be arsed), so I think I might just copy paste some of the posts on here. Who knows when it'll disappear off the web for good. Anyway, geez, I wrote some long and deep stuff there. It's also amusing how funny I am, I am still chuckling at my own jokes 6 years ago. I amuse myself. Good going, past self! It doesn't really matter if no one else finds me funny, at least future me will. lolz.

But I also have to wonder, when did I ever have the time to write all this?! Reposts soon!

Hello April 2016!

With the encouragement of a comment on one of my previous posts, I am now motivated to blog further! Thank you my dear reader (singular). I'm nothing without you.

And wow, it's almost a year til the day the Firm was formally named. There has been a lot of challenges and legal drama this past year, too much to count. There's a bit of everything. On the positive side, the Firm has been handling a lot of complex, interesting cases. Oh the drama and stories I could share! 

Handled quite a lot of injunction matters the past year, leading to my "King of Injunctions" moniker given by my small group of legal peers. I prefer Krown Prince (just so the acronym would be KPI - Malaysians are all about acronyms). Actually, I prayed for this during my trip to the Holy Land. I prayed to be blessed with work that is exciting, challenging and enjoyable so that I can continue to work and continue to love my profession - and this is one of my many prayers that had been granted by the Almighty. The other prayers - I believe will be granted in due time. I firmly believe in the law of attraction. You attract what you want. Pray for it, work hard for it, and it will come (when God wills it to).

On the negative side, setting up on my own has exposed a lot of my own flaws and weaknesses that I might have turned a blind eye to, or papered up the cracks to. Now, there's no longer anyone else to blame, no excuses to be made or had (and even if there is, it wouldn't make a difference anyway) and all it's done is that it has laid bare a lot of ugly truths that I have to face, accept and do something about. But the Firm is still going strong. Alhamdulillah.

In the personal sphere - the year has started with a lot of travelling that I might try to blog about (no promises). Langkawi during the new year was much needed after a really hectic end to the year (in which an ex-parte injunction was filed and obtained on the very second last day of the year). Shanghai was a great experience and a much needed rejuvenating holiday. Perth on my birthday was close to succeeding to top Shanghai. Almost. Have also been enjoying a quieter work schedule (work-life balance?). Also, another reminder of my mortality: A nasty food poisoning episode put me in the hospital for the first time in my life and left me there for 6 days. Oh, it's already April but a lot of my resolutions have yet to be put into action. 

But now that I have a reader, I now have a purpoise in life! Yes, I do! Targetting to double it by year's end!

Cooking up...

Recently my wife and I dabbled in making some home-made dishes for dinner instead of buying food outside.

This is what we came up with. Chef D'kneok presents:

Grilled Salmon and Dill Sauce, served with Baked Potatoes and Baby Carrots - The Salmon is of course my wife's favourite and it was little wonder that it turned out great, juicy, pink and slightly crunchy skin. The potatoes fought me all the way and refused to turn tender, but I suppose it had a certain crunch that justttt about redeemed it (that's a nice positive spin to it). I've been making baked potatoes since before I could walk and talk so I'm surprised it didn't turn out so great. The baby carrots were steamed and added a more tangy and zesty flavour to the meal. 

Three Cheese Macaroni - The best macaroni and cheese I've ever tasted, even if I do say so myself. It just came out perfectly, even beyond expected. I generally dislike Mac & Cheese, which is weird because I like cheese and macaroni. But all the other mac & cheese I've tasted (think Secret Recipe and Kenny Rogers) uses a gooey, yucky cheese that barely gives it any taste. So for this one, I used mozzarella, parmesan and cheddar cheese for some real kapow-zing-wazhashazammmm. Oh yeah.

Cloud-fluffy Omelette - The Fluff® is heavenly, I was really surprised at how it turned out. Unfortunately, I doused juuust a little bit too much olive oil and forgot to season the omelette with salt and pepper when cooking. Seasoned the omelette with a bit of paprika but it didn't raise the kick so much. The fluff though.. I think I have stumbled across a winner. Have I mentioned the fluff?

So I'm still a noob at this, but in all honesty I am quietly enjoying trying to pick up easier recipes that I can make for dinner. I hate cleaning up though, although I know I have to suck it in as it comes with the package.

Any quick and easy recipes to share?

Finding your Balance...[part 1]

Read an interesting article about work-life balance for lawyers, which was a little extreme. Basically article was saying lawyers who crave for work-life balance are just whiners and losers who give up along the way because cannot cope with the demands of the profession and aren't cut out for the big cases. Article also goes on to say that there is no such thing as work-life balance in the legal world.

My personal view? I disagree.

Of course, everyone gives up along the way. Everyone slows down, sooner or later. My pupil-master, the fount of loads of sage advice - once told me this: The law is a jealous mistress. What does it mean? What does it all mean? What is the meaning of life? I hear your thought bubbles loud and clear, folks. It basically just means that being an avatar of the law sucks all the time, energy, everything out of you. Whatever you have: family, fun, futsal, food, etc: the law is jealous of and will compete for your undivided attention against them. 

The thing is, I've always been a firm believer that work-life balance IS ACHIEVABLE, but only after you have learnt your trade and solidified your foundations. And to do that, in the shortest time possible, is to sacrifice pretty much everything else. Time, sleep, health, eyesight, relationships, pretty much everything. There is always a cost to achieving something.

Without learning your trade, you won't be able to have a healthy work-life balance. Most probably because you won't have work. No employer will reward or encourage mediocrity. So at some point, you're going to have to work hard to improve yourself. If the employer doesn't get rid of you, it's only because they're kind-hearted people who hope you get the hint and move your reeking pile of mediocrity elsewhere before you're found out. I know that there's a bit of a leap in the above logic. It's deliberate. "Having a healthy work-life balance doesn't NOT mean that you'll be mediocre", you argue. Of course not. 

But...

To be continued...

Everything you want is on the other side of fear...

The 'glamorous' life of a lawyer entails reading a lot of documents to prepare yourself for meetings, presentations, court hearings, etc often in the middle of the night...

It's boring, tiring and you wonder what it's all for as you trudge through page upon page upon page, until you finally can't take it anymore and get just enough sleep to function the next day.

But today, you wake up knowing you're much better for having gone through all that shit when it's much easier just to wing it and pretend you know what you'll be talking about.


Your wake up mood? bring the world on!

Now I just need to get out of bed and convince myself. And to get some coffee.

Obviously there's a life lesson dangling in front of you, which I needn't point out. But I will anyway. Life isn't just about doing what you like, it's about doing what you have to, to be able to do what you like. Sometimes doing what you like means doing things you don't like. Life is a little paradoxical like that, no?

So face your fear and grab what you want. The only thing stopping you is fear, itself.

Now, if I'm done motivating everyone, I may need some help getting out of bed. T_T

(taken from my Dayre post of 26-11-2013)

Leaving my Mark...

Everyone aims to leave their mark on the world. Well, maybe not "world" world, as in the entire world, but on the world of those that matters, be it your families', friends', those you want to impress, the profession you are in, or even if you've only wanted to impress your own self.

I've always wanted to leave a mark in the legal world. Its partly the reason I chose to do my pupillage in the firm that my lecturer recommended was the best in terms of learning about the law (from her registrar days) and also the most challenging. I took up that challenge to see if I could hack it. But don't get me wrong, it's not about being the best. The "best lawyer in town" label simply is of little value or desire to me. It's about being the best I can be. I can't really proclaim that I've made my mark, or that I'm now a famous lawyer. I'm not. and that's not the aim.

But I've always had the firm (heh.. heh) target to become a partner of a law firm or set up on my own once I have 7 years of experience. That's always been the magical number for me. So I've put in the hours, worked my socks off. And now the time has finally come. Sometimes, it seemed like I'd never get there. But now it feels as if time had moved so fast from my chambie days. Why the need for a law firm though? Well, to me, that's to be answered in a different post. But after events in my life which has caused me to take stock of my own mortality and future, I decided that I needed the flexibility, the freedom and the adventure of my own law firm.

Technically, I've not had 7 years of experience yet. That's coming in November. So it's a few months early, but it's here. Am I ready? Can I stand comparatively with the rest?  

I'm here to find out.

But do I believe in my own self to proudly plaster my own name?

Ho yeah. Never in doubt.

So this is it. This is me leaving my mark. Well, it's the start.

Returning from the light...

It's been close to two months since the day I returned from the Light.

For about two weeks, I traded my Black Robes for the White. And what a refreshing change that was. If you've ever played the Dungeons & Dragons board game or RPG video/pc game adaptations (or read the book), the purest priests wear white and the evil wizards don the black robes. Characters are defined by their race (elves, dwarves, humans), profession (bards, thieves, paladins, wizards, warriors), and moral alignments. Reflective of the real world, right?

The Apprentice and one of his masters

In D&D speak, I think a lawyer's alignment is Lawful Evil. A guild entrusted to shape the law and to enforce order, but the questionable way lawyers go about in achieving it? The devil may care. And as lawyers, to wield such powers we don the black robes. Powerful black robes. Power of the word. Words that turn into judgment. Judgment becomes Order. Order becomes the Law. And disobedience of that Law then becomes punishable. We live in a world where the ultimate duty is sadly not to seek the truth and justice, but to bend the law to our clients' favour. It is an adversarial battle royale: Winner-takes-all. But great power, as often is said, corrupts the soul. And for seven years, I wielded that power without realizing that it slowly corrupted me.

And then I traded it for the ihram cloth. An unsown cloth of pure white. A cloth carrying heavy rules and prohibitions to ensure its sanctity. It was not just the cloth itself, it was the entire state of consecration and the emphasis of the natural state. No alien scent of any kind was allowed to accentuate ourselves. It was overwhelming. But very refreshing. In the Holiest Land, a place where people vociferously competed with each other for goodness, even to the physical detriment of others (which sort of defeats the purpose, innit), I felt a part of my soul was being healed. Slowly restored. I was even allowed to feel pure. Me. Heh. There might be hope for me yet. The instant connection of the soul with the House of God was indescribable. The heart truly belonged there. It instantly knew that it was home. It was also a place for reflection on my past sins and my future direction.

And when I was contemplating the meaning and worth of my existence, I chanced upon a meaningful discussion with a guest in the Holy Land. He told me that the problem with the Muslim world is that there are many great scholars interpreting the fixed texts of God, but not enough scholars interpreting its application in the real world. The fixed texts are an important source, but it is constant, though the world is not. It adapts, it evolves, it changes. And lawyers are amongst those who are at the forefront of addressing that change and adaptation.

I guess it's easy to forget that there is a little white in the lawyer's attire underneath all that blackness, especially the more we remain trudging in its murky worlds. The step back and moving to a whole different world helped me realize it. There is good in the profession and that it needs to shine, it needs to be upheld. A reinvigorating reminder for those who have perhaps sunk in too deep or jaded with the profession.

But I've returned from the light, and I think I brought a part of it with me.